Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Parenting

My sister was blogging about parenting and trying to help her daughter remember this bad thing she'd done in order to never do in again. She realized that she was feeling vindictive and that that was not a good was to enact consequences of actions. The following story came to mind while reading it.

One time, Arrowhead was having a science fair of something in the old gym (now library). I was probably 4 and was there with mom, whom I think was helping out. One of he experiments was using sugar cubes and I wanted one and they did have a whole box of them so, when no one was looking I took one and put it in my lunch bag to eat later with lunch at my friends house where I was going for a play date after the fair. While driving to the play date, mom asked what I had for lunch (I don't know why, intuition I guess) and I, always a terrible liar, showed her and so we talked about it, turned around the car and mom had me take it back, admit fault, and apologize. I don't know if she was intended for me to have a landmark epic experience or if she was just helping without the necessary steps in the repentance process, but I think many people look back on similar experiences and want to help their own learning loved ones have similar ones. But I think you are right, it's not something vindictive, nor can it be forced. You just have to help them understand it was a bad thing and help them through the repentance process I love and firm kindness and hope that it sticks.

I'm sure that's the reason behind most spankings, but if spanking out of anger and not out of love, you are reinforcing anger and retaliation and not change and love.